Welcome to the wildly confident  podcast. Where we discuss all the ways to help you get more confident women make more money and get the row you want either life. I’m Kathrine Weissner, a certified life coach, life coach, and the creatrix of my own multi million dollar business. So many of us goals, desires, dreams to make more money, get more confident, open that business, meet that guy, or girl and we just can’t seem to get it in our lives. And when we repetitively have been unable to get something in our life that we desire, that’s when we usually look to try to figure out what weeds are limiting beliefs are blocking those new seeds from being able to grow. The problem is, when you have a limiting belief, you might not even know it. And you might have had it since you were a kid. And it’s just there in the background as your reality. And when you get rid of that limiting belief or just lessen it, it’s going to give more space for those seeds to grow. And that way, you’re going to get more of what you want in your life. So it’s just like a win win. So without further ado, we are going to start on today’s weed, which is the ghost weed.

Unknown Speaker  1:40  
And the ghost weed is all about the past. It’s all about the amount of time we spend every day or every week thinking about things that happened in the past. And I’m going to be focusing on the things that we think about that are causing negative emotions in our bodies. This is the type of ghost weed that we want to exorcise out of our beautiful garden, the kind where we’re going back to past painful stories that happened like sometimes, you know, many years ago, that we are still using as evidence that something is wrong with us. And we go back and we retell these stories over and over again in our heads, or we tell them to friends, further in graining them into our brains neural pathways brain is just a machine. And it’s going to do whatever you tell it to do. So you need to be really careful about what you’re telling it to do and what you’re telling it to believe. And if you’re telling it a really negative story about your past and making it mean something about today and and what you’re capable of in the future, you bet your bottom that is going to be affecting whether or not you’re going to be able to get that thing done in the future thoughts are so powerful. And you always get to decide what to think about what happened in your past. You do not have to let your past haunt you and hijack your future goals and possibilities. I’m going to share a story with you here that someone shared with me that I think will help you better understand this concept. But this person had gotten fired from their job. And their thoughts around it was that they were at least there they were going to never get another job again, that paid like that. So their future was really bleak. And just hearing this person talk about it, it was just like watching them punch themselves in the face over and over again. It’s so often that we talk to ourselves in a way that is so almost abusive. You know, when something like you know, getting fired from a job, right, that’s it actually is neutral, it doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything about you negative or positive. It’s just something that happened you no longer have that job anymore. Someone asked you not to work fair anymore. And we could even come up with reasons why that person fired you maybe the person who fired you was having a complete mental breakdown and you know, it was just totally lost their shit basically or maybe the company you’re working for is going to go over under like six months from now and it was actually a good thing you got fire now because now you get to maybe collect some unemployment. Look, there are a lot of other alternatives you could believe other than the one that that person was believing that they were just like a loser and they are never going to get another job again. You don’t want to say it’s not I don’t want to say it’s not hard losing a job I’m trying to tell everyone here is when something like that happens.

Unknown Speaker  5:00  
You kind of get over the initial shock of it on what you want to think about what happened and how you decide to think about that is what is going to make all the difference for your future possibilities and you being able to achieve things in the future, if you think you’re a loser, if you think you’re never gonna get another job again, right, you probably are not going to because the feelings you’re going to have around that are feelings of being sad being uninvested being on interested and motivated. And so your actions are going to be ones of not putting a lot of effort in not showing up as your best, not being confident to in turn is not going to help you get a new job. So the first thing I do with clients, the micro practice I do with them, when I noticed one of these ghosty weeds hanging around something from their past that’s lurking around. And it doesn’t have to be about a job guys it so many times it’s about like an ex partner, they’re having a hard time imagining that they are going to find the love of their life, or they grew up with not a lot of money. And they have a really hard time believing that they’re ever going to be wealthy or be abundant could just be as simple as you don’t have any evidence in your past that you’re capable of maybe creating a new business because you’ve never done it. And that’s bad haunts you to some extent, because you think you need proof that you’ve done it in the past. And that’s just holding you back. Because if you’re doing something new, of course, you’re not going to approve in the past. And that’s kind of fun, because you really got an opportunity to just make it up as you go along. And you’re not following some sort of old paradigm. Kind of, like refer to this as the bur Hamilton situation.

Unknown Speaker  6:47  
If you guys know about if you’ve seen Hamilton, which I’m totally obsessed with including a soundtrack but Aaron Burr came from like a pretty old prestigious family that followed a lot of rules that had a lot of success to it. And he was constantly looking to his past to try to figure out like, How am I supposed to be how am I supposed to show up, which was actually pretty limiting for him, it actually stopped him from really standing out where it was Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton had none of that, right, he was just kind of like balls to the walls, let’s do.

Unknown Speaker  7:18  
And so, you know, not having a past to kind of follow actually having to evidence in the past is actually amazing, because you’re going to be able to actually like create some brand new things that you probably didn’t think you’re capable of, and you get to write the script as you go along. So it can be a real advantage. So back to how we work with the ghost, we’d, I just like to bring people to neutral to start, okay, so what we work on doing is just stopping that thought pattern loop. Whether it’s you know, you’re looking to meet a new person in your life, a new romantic person or start a business or make more money or get more confident when you’re starting to engage in activities that you want to for your future. And you start feeling a negative story from your past creep up and you can tell that you’re going into that kind of almost like divot or road track in your brain. That negative story lives I want you to realize that’s happening and to take a moment and try to bring it back to neutral and by neutral. It’s These are just some some thoughts, I think they’re not like necessarily going to be motivating thoughts because we’re not looking to turn a negative emotion to a positive motion here. We’re just looking to neutralize this ghost, we’d right now, the thing about a ghost weed is if you don’t believe in it, it just goes away. So neutralizing something is going to help you stop believing in it. When I catch myself kind of in that road. That road track in my brain thinking like a negative thought pattern. I tried to stop and think of some things that are neutral to help me interrupt that thought pattern.

Unknown Speaker  9:05  
And here are some of the thoughts. I like to think. What if the past were perfect?

Unknown Speaker  9:13  
What if the past happened exactly as it was supposed to? And there were no mistakes, just lessons and preparations.

Unknown Speaker  9:25  
What happened meant nothing about me.

Unknown Speaker  9:29  
The universe is always working for me and with me.

Unknown Speaker  9:35  
And I am whole, perfect and complete just the way I am.

Unknown Speaker  9:41  
I like to post some of these mantras around my house on a sticky note when I recognize kind of the negative thought pattern starting to form so I can interrupt it and stop it from really ingraining into my brain. Friends, the past is over. That’s the good news.

Unknown Speaker  9:57  
You can’t go back, right if there’s something that

Unknown Speaker  10:00  
Maybe we wish we would have done in the past differently. We just note it to ourselves because we have control of ourselves and we just say we’re going to do it differently in the future. That’s the best we can do. And the good news is the future is yours for the taking. So what do you want to start planning in the future? Once you’ve cleared up your ghost weeds and you have all that extra brainpower that help you get your goals and dreams and results done?

Unknown Speaker  10:29  
Thank you for joining. I hope you come back next week. Join my mailing list to get notified of my podcasts follow me on Instagram @katweissner and check out my website www.klw coaching.