Speaker 1: (00:03)
Welcome to the wildly confident podcast, where we discuss all the ways to help you get more confident, make more money and get the results you want in your life span. I’m Kathrine Weissner your host. I am a certified life coach through the life coach and the creatrix of my own multimillion dollar business

Speaker 2: (00:23)
Goddesses. So glad you’re here for 10 to 15 minutes to Uplevel your life. This week, the topic is self trust or trust. If you want to have more trust with other people, you have to build trust with yourself. And why do you care about this? Why should you hang around in this podcast? Well, actually one of the keys to finding peace in your life to having more, self-love more self-worth to feeling good enough, actually has to do with learning how to trust yourself. So if you want to have the peace of mind of loving yourself, no matter what feeling worthy all the time, feeling confident all the time, hang out for the next 10 to 15 minutes. I’m going to explain to you what trust is, what some of our problems are around building self-trust and how to start building self-trust oh my gosh, all the things.

Speaker 2: (01:15)
So first I want to share with you my definition of trust. My definition is something you believe in with your entire body. Meaning not just your head, but with your heart, with your soul, like you feel it in your body. It is true. That is why it feels peaceful and grounding. Sometimes we believe something in her head, but not in our heart. Right? And that is where there’s some dissonance there. I’m not going to go into cognitive dissonance on this podcast, but I will in a future podcast to help you through those types of situations where you have that disconnect. But when you know you trust something is when you feel safe with it, you feel like it is something that you feel comfortable in. You feel peaceful in, you don’t have to worry about it. So what we’re looking to do is to create that sense of peace inside of us, by learning how to trust ourselves more.

Speaker 2: (02:11)
And the problem is they don’t fully trust themselves. They might trust themselves in like this one area, like, Hey, I’m really good at cooking. And I’m really good at picking up my kids after school, or, you know, I’m really good at my job, but I’m not really good in relationships. And I don’t really think I’m a good mom all the time. And I don’t know, I’m not really sure if I’m good enough or I feel like there’s something lacking in me. I just don’t feel completely worthy. And that starts at a very young age because the entire system in our culture is basically a hierarchal culture. When you’re a child, you’re, you’re born into that. Like children are almost seen as like second class citizens in country. They don’t have any legal rights and they’re treated as being kind of lesser than that. They know less. And that parents and adults are supposed to teach them how to be, right. Because parents and adults know so much more. Right?

Speaker 2: (03:15)
I know we’re all adults on this podcast and we have to laugh about that because especially anyone who’s a parent or hangs out with kids for any amount of time knows that kids are super smart, super wise. And actually they have a lot of things to teach us too. Right? Kids are not second class citizens. They are just as important as equal as any other person on this planet. But because that is part of our cultural view. Okay? And because we grew up in that, we have kind of a system of like experts or people we look up to, you know, as we were, when we were children, it was our parents. When we were in school, it was our teachers, right? Our teachers knew more than us and we were there to learn. And this, um, this continues on in our lives, even as adults, we think that other people know more than us.

Speaker 2: (04:09)
We think that other people need to confirm that we’re worthy lovable enough. We think we need external things. So we know that we’re doing a good job. And when we think something or someone knows more about life, uh, more about what might be best for us more about if we’re good enough, we’re giving our power away to that person. So the point of learning to trust ourselves is to take our power back because I am going to share with you something that might be mind blowing. You might have actually heard me talk about it in the past as well. But everyone is equally knowledgeable and gifted. No one else is better than you. No one else knows what’s actually better for you than you. And every time you think that someone else knows better than you, when you look to them as an expert, when you look to them to answer things in your life, you’re putting them on a pedestal and you’re giving them your power.

Speaker 2: (05:23)
This is part of the archetype of the child, which is more of the shadow side that now that we’re adults, right. It was fine when we were children. Like that was the way we were raised as part of the culture. Now, as we’re adults and we’re awakening and we’re becoming aware, right. And we’re saying, oh, okay, I see that. I’ve been giving away all my power to whom whomever that might be, you know, talking heads on TV, politicians, um, celebrities, you know, what are those people like? Social media stars, you know, gurus, even your coach, right? Even someone like me. I always tell my clients when we do work together, like I will give you advice from time to time. But I always check in with what’s right for you. Most of the work I’m doing with you, it’s getting you to reconnect back to yourself so you can figure out what’s best for you.

Speaker 2: (06:21)
Because guess what? I don’t think I know what’s best for you. I know that’s not true. I’m happy to share some knowledge I have along my life. And then I want you to run it through you to see what works for you. And I’m always going to come back to you in our sessions because you always know what’s right for you. And you might be saying right now, but I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. Like I’m stuck. I’m, you know, I’m stuck in a pattern. And again, that is why you hire a coach. Okay? I create a space for us to start exploring why you’re stuck and start looking at your limiting beliefs. And then I help guide you back to your own internal guidance system. And then you have that turned on for the rest of your life, right? So these are skills and tools that you’re going to have forever.

Speaker 2: (07:08)
That’s going to get you in tune with what is your gifts in the world, what you’re aligned here on this earth to do. And so, anyway, back to learning how to do self-trust okay. So when you were in the child, archetype, you are going to be not taking responsibility for your life either because you’re so disempowered, you’re going to be actually almost like in a victim type state sometimes where you feel stuck or frozen when you’re around these people or you feel stuck and frozen in that part of your life, where you just don’t feel like, you know, enough, like in that someone else is going to do it better. And that is just simply not true. It is absolutely not true. Let me give you an example. There’s like this, this Buddhist, um, quote from like a Chinese monk from the seventh century, I’d like to share this with clients, but the quote is, if you ever see the Buddha on the road, kill it, kill her, kill them, kill she, whatever your pronoun is.

Speaker 2: (08:09)
Okay. And I know that sounds really extreme, but what I mean when I tell this to my clients, is that whatever you are idolizing on the side of the road or in your life, when you’re idolizing it on YouTube or idolizing in another friend or someone you don’t know or celebrity, okay, you are giving your power away to them. You were putting them on a pedestal and you were giving like your trust away to them that they somehow know more than, you know, and that is simply not true. Whatever is in them lives inside of you as well. I’m going to say that again. Whatever is in that Buddha or whatever you idolize on the side of the road, that celebrity, that social media star is inside of you. Well, and as soon as you start recognizing that you were equal with that, and that is in you too.

Speaker 2: (09:01)
That is. So when you take responsibility for your life, that’s when you move out of the shadow of a child archetype and you really start making things, things happen in your life that maybe you were stuck on before Martha, Beck’s got a great quote and it’s, it goes like this. If you spot it, you got it. And it’s similar to the Buddhist story. If you see someone else with something you like, you’re like, wow, I really like that. I want to want you to sit back and say, you got it too. Right? Anything you see in anyone else, right? It’s just a reflection back of what you have. Nobody else is more special than you. And you’re not more special than anybody else. Yes. We all have different gifts. Okay. And talents and passions. But no one knows what’s best for you. Like you, you always know.

Speaker 2: (09:52)
And the more you come back to trusting that place in yourself, the more empowered you’re going to feel in your life. And the more you are going to be moving in the direction that brings you, passion, passion, peace, purpose in your life, the more fun and happy and joyful you’re going to be. I’ll tell you, like I noticed myself actually putting, um, I hardly ever do this anymore, but I noticed myself pudding, Lizzo. And I don’t know if you guys know her, you probably do. She’s a queen. But I noticed our beautiful queen artist. I love her to death. And I was putting her on a pedestal recently. I was like, oh, Lizzo, this lizard that I wish I was like Lizzo. And I was like, timeout. I am like Lizzo. I am a queen. And as soon as I took that power back in me, I doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Lizzo as much.

Speaker 2: (10:39)
Right. I appreciate both of us as much. And it’s a good reminder seeing a queen like Lizzo, that I’m a queen too. Right. I spotted something I liked. And I have that in me too. And I’m going to own that. It feels so, so good. So a few little tips for people out there who are starting new things who are confused, who don’t know what to do next, that feels stuck in their life. Things are falling apart. Maybe you’re getting a divorce. Maybe you just lost your job and you want to start something new. Um, w I’m not saying don’t reach out for help. Right? You can reach out to a coach like me. I do free consults for people right now. And it’s a great way, 30 minutes just to kind of reconnect in with what you need right now to take the next steps.

Speaker 2: (11:22)
But you can also go on the internet. You can go onto YouTube. You can search for things about, let’s say, let’s say you’re looking to start a business, right? I’m not saying don’t ever talk to anybody else who has started a business. I’m saying, yes. Talk to those people. Right. But come to it from an equal standpoint, yes. They might know more about the business statistically or, you know, on a factual level. They could, because they’ve already created a business, but you have that same energy within you. And so you own that. You can have the same exact thing in them as they do. And you ask them questions, you get really curious about how they did it. Okay. And you can also watch, like I said, videos on this. Um, you can reach out to friends and from there, you then get to pick and choose what feels right to you for your next step.

Speaker 2: (12:14)
Right? You don’t just do it all verbatim because we’re not trying to copy someone else’s life. You can’t copy it anyway. Even if you tried, it would never work. Trust me, otherwise, like we’d all be copying. Like someone’s life that we admire. And again, it’s, it’s not possible. You can only ever be yourself. So it’s great to get advice from people. It’s great to work with their coach, get that information and then check in to see what resonates with you. And then you do those things. Every time you come back to yourself and you kind of check in with the interactions are having with people and sorting out, being like, Hey, what fits with me with what I want to throw away? Right? What resonates with me? What doesn’t, every time you do that, you’re building more and more self-trust in yourself. And that is how eventually you will start to believe yourself.

Speaker 2: (13:02)
When you say that you are good enough, you are worthy. You are lovable all the time, no matter what. And it creates this great sense of peace in your life. The problem right now is if you’re practicing those mantras and you’re reading all those little posts on Instagram to love yourself and stuff, you’re like that works sometimes, but not all the time. And it’s because you still kind of have this hierarchy going on where you don’t completely trust yourself. Right. It’s a whole body trust. You might say in your head. Yeah. I trust myself. Yeah, I totally do. But like your body doesn’t feel it. Okay. And the way that your body learns how to trust herself, the way that your whole body learns is by you putting it into practice, actual, actionable steps. So what you start doing every day, as you start checking in with yourself about what you want to be doing, resonates with you, no matter what some expert told you, you were going to relentlessly stick to what feels right to you.

Speaker 2: (14:00)
And the more you do this, you’re building the muscle inside of you that you can trust yourself. And so eventually you won’t need any of the external accolades or you won’t need any of the people outside of you to tell you you’re lovable, you’re worthy. You’re good enough. You know, you won’t be jumping through all these hoops, trying to be perfect, dealing with people pleasing to try to feed the hungry ghost in you. That once those, those things to feel safe, to feel peace. Right? Cause that stuff, because it’s external, it comes and goes. We have no control over it. Okay. So we work on building the internal self-trust muscle. So when we do say those things to ourselves, are we actually believe it, right? Cause we trust ourselves. We know what we’re saying is true. So when we say, I love myself, your whole body knows is true and you will no longer need to have any of that external validation.

Speaker 2: (14:54)
It feels absolutely amazing. Okay. Come back next week. I’m actually going to be talking about how to get a project done, start to finish. So if there’s a business you want, if there’s a relationship you want, if there’s something new you want in your life, you don’t know where to start or you’re stuck in the middle of it. Come listen to the podcast next week, I’m going to share with you the coaching advice. I give people and you can see what resonates with you and what does it. And then go ahead and take full responsibility for your life. You’re an adult. You’re not a child anymore. No one else knows more than you, right? And from that sort of empowering energy, you’re going to take the actions to get that result in your life.

Speaker 2: (17:27)
So goddesses go forth and create within yourself that house, that house of trust, that house of love that house of enoughness in side of you. That house of belonging.

Speaker 1: (17:47)
Thank you for joining. I hope you come back next week. Join my mailing list to get notified of my podcasts. Follow me on Instagram at @katweissner and check out my website at www.klwcoaching.com.