The Wildly Confident Podcast
In episode 14 of the Wildly Confident Podcast we are going to talk about MONEY:
People give way too much power to money for fear of not having enough – because they “think” they need money to get their needs meet.
Money has become the #1 tool we use to get our needs meet. But you don’t have to use money to get your needs meet – you can actually get all of your needs meet for free once you identify what your needs are.
Once you identify what your needs are – you can figure out free ways to get those needs meet and you will start to realize that you don’t need money as much as you think – it feels absolutely freeing. When you feel that safety & freedom in your body, you will start to release the fear and control money has over your life so you can form a better relationships with money. Doing this work doesn’t mean you don’t want money – it just starts to change your relationship with it, so you are in control on your money versus your money controlling you.
On this episode you will learn:
- How to identify your needs
- How to meet your needs without money
- How to get money freedom
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Want to read the episode instead?
Speaker 1: (00:03)
Welcome to the Wildly Confident podcast, where we discuss all the ways to help you get more competent, make more money, and get the results you want in your life. Stat. I’m Kathrine, Weissner your host. I’m a certified life coach for the life coach school and the creatrix tricks of my own multi-million dollar business.
Speaker 2: (00:24)
Hello, I am so glad that you are here taking 10 minutes to take good care of yourself this week and to learn a new tool. And I am talking about money again, one of my favorite favorite things, and I’m going to be sharing with you. I have so many favorite tools, don’t I, but one of my favorite tools with money. Okay. And it all has to do with needs and the way we use money, okay. Money has become this tool to get our needs met. And we do this by exchanging our time or energy okay. For money. And then with the money we take and buy things that we need. And I think one of the reasons why people are so afraid about not having enough money or want more money is to get needs met, to get their desires met. And that can just really feel like scary that if you do not have money, somehow your needs are not going to be met.
Speaker 2: (01:30)
And so it creates a lot of fear around money, a lot of power games around money, because you’re actually almost like a little bit afraid of money, right. You’ve kind of put it on a pedestal and you’re like, I needed an order to get my needs met. And if I don’t have my needs met, oh my gosh, like the end of the world. And I am going to help you break that link. Okay. Money is a wonderful thing. Yes. Money can help you buy things that make you, uh, have your desires that help you get your needs met. Um, but you don’t need money to get your needs met. And that’s the connection we’re going to start to break. Okay? Because when you don’t believe you need money to get your needs met, all of a sudden money’s going to have less power over you, right?
Speaker 2: (02:21)
You’re going to be more out of a scarcity mindset with money, and you’re going to be able to see money for what it is. Just something neutral. Okay. And once money is neutral, you can even start to have positive thoughts about it. Like money is fun. Money flows. Money is abundantly. You can start to move those, but I always try to move clients from the scarcity, like negative fearful state that I think most people are around money. Like I need money to survive. If I don’t have money, I’m going to die. If I don’t have money, I’m going to be on this street. Like these thoughts around money, right. That make us all graspy around it that make us hoard things that make us feel like we’re in, um, those types of things, right. Are going to give them money so much power and control over you or your, your life.
Speaker 2: (03:08)
It’s going to make you feel trapped. Um, it just doesn’t feel very good. So what I work on with clients, and this is true for clients that have not a lot of money and clients that have tons of money. Okay. Because just because you have a bunch of money, doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not in scarcity. Actually, a lot of people I know who have a lot of money are in a lot of scarcity. They, um, are really hoarding money a lot. They have a lot of fear around not having money and that’s why they’re stockpiling it. Right. Shocking. Right. Um, and it actually just feels horrible because, um, I can just say this right now. People never feel like they have enough money. They’re out. They’re just in fear of not having enough. I can even like look back at my life and you know, there’s something, um, there’s been a number of studies done.
Speaker 2: (04:00)
I’m sure you’ve heard about them where like, basically they say like, if you have, you know, 80,000 or a hundred thousand dollars, you know, you’re making that much money a year, then you know, like no amount of additional money is gonna make you any happier. And it’s like, whoa, you know, you read that. And you’re like, oh my gosh, why do I still want, why are there people who have so much money instilled just can’t good enough. Right. And it’s because they are being driven to accumulate more money because they are living in scarcity and fear that somehow, you know, their needs are not going to be met. If they don’t have enough money, like they’re relying on money to meet their needs and they need to make sure their needs are, or Matt, it’s actually pretty sad. Um, from like on, on like, just like a grander picture.
Speaker 2: (04:55)
Sure. The richer that someone, yeah. At least I’ve seen this in my own life. The more money they have, the less connection and community they have because all of them, the thing their needs in their life are getting met through money because they have so much money. Their life becomes like one giant transaction. And I’m not trying to say that’s true for everyone. Who’s wealthy. I’m just saying I’ve seen it a lot. Those people feel like their lives are empty. They don’t have much meaning to their life. You know, they look around, they’re like, oh my gosh, I have all the things like I have all the things that society says, I’m six that successful. Why aren’t I happier? And I’ll tell you, what’s missing is community and connection. But because they, one of the reasons they have so much money is because they have a key elated it to make sure all their needs are met.
Speaker 2: (05:51)
Right. They have disconnected themselves over time from often and they’ve relying or needing community to meet their needs because they can just pay someone to meet their needs. And so they become more and more disconnected from just being in community. And I think communities that one of the greatest wealth wealths we can have in life, you know, so it’s not necessarily, life is not necessarily about having a lot of money. It’s about feeling like you’re wealthy. Like you have a lot of wealth. And having wealth for me is definitely having community and connection and not relying on money to get my needs met. So let’s get back to the practice because often what we need to do is to identify and become aware of our needs so we can figure out how we can have our need met outside of money. And when you figure that out, oh boy, like you will feel so empowered.
Speaker 2: (06:46)
And often the way we get that need met is through community and connection. And I think that’s, that feels so much better than using money or a transaction. It feels so much better to be with other people and have that connection. It just does. And so I’m going to be asking all of you to try this practice out this week and see how much better it feels. So, um, go ahead and just pick out, uh, some, some purchase that if you’ve suddenly, um, did not have enough money to get, like, let’s say you got, you lost your job or, um, you had a pay cut. Like there was something that happened. And all of a sudden you couldn’t afford one of the small things in your life that you think you need in order to be happy. I am not talking about, um, the first level of Maslov’s pyramid here.
Speaker 2: (07:42)
Like I’m not talking about your house, your shelter, your food, okay. Or your clothing. Although I do want to say about those three things. I think that’s one of the reasons like that study says like $80,000, you know, isn’t it, once you have $80,000, like you absolutely can afford those things, plus some extras. And so extra money isn’t necessarily going to make you more happy because happiness doesn’t necessarily come from having your needs met with mom with money. It doesn’t come from having transactional needs, met happiness. Typically it comes from things like love, you know, being together and community, helping other people, you know, connecting with other people. Um, and the other thing I want to say about that first level of the pyramid. Okay. Um, most of us, even if we were in a tight spot and did not have a shelter, didn’t have clothing, didn’t have food.
Speaker 2: (08:38)
We could find those things. Like there would be somebody who would be low, we would let us stay with them. Right. That’s the feeling of community and connection. And I want you to sit right now and think about who that might be for you. Let’s say for some reason you lost your shelter, which would be absolutely horrible. But if you did, let’s go ahead and just be aware that there are people that would welcome you into their house. Let’s see. You couldn’t afford to buy clothing anymore. Are there people, you know, who would give you clothing off their own back? Yes. There are. Yes. There are, you know, yes. There absolutely are. Let’s say you did not. You couldn’t afford to buy yourself food anymore. Are there places to get food still? Yes. Yes. There is. Like, there are things out there for you. I think so often, and I don’t wish this upon anybody, but we, we don’t even want to think about that happening to us because we think it would just be like death.
Speaker 2: (09:33)
But if you think about it for a moment, you realize that you do have community, you do have connection, there are resources available for you to get your basic needs met. And when you realize that you can let go of the fear of that happening to you. No, we don’t want it to happen to us, but we also don’t need to live in fear and scarcity around it. Okay. We can get our needs met through community and connection, even our basic needs on the pyramid, but let’s go ahead and take a step up the pyramid. Okay. And let’s just talk about some of the things that, you know, um, can also kind of feel like some sort of mini death if we can’t have them in recently, you know, during the downturn in the economy with COVID, I have heard clients talk about some of these things and to them, I don’t want this to sound trivial to some of you.
Speaker 2: (10:23)
So I want to explain that to these people. This was a very, it felt very restrictive to them. Okay. Some of those things are like not being able to get there, um, massages anymore. Okay. I mean, yeah, there was COVID because, you know, the risk of spreading it, but it was because they had lost some of their salary and they weren’t going to be able to do that anymore. And um, for another person, maybe it was, they weren’t going to be able to go out to eat anymore at a restaurant because they didn’t have the money to do it anymore. And both of those things, things felt just horrible to these people. They were like desperate to make more money in order to get those things back because there, they thought if they didn’t have those things, certain needs would not be met. So the first thing I do with clients here is I help them identify what the need is.
Speaker 2: (11:11)
Okay. That the massage or the restaurants is filling. Okay. And I use the universal human needs, a list from a nonviolent communication. It’s something that I have studied on, uh, on and off for years. And in this case, we were able to identify for the client for their massage, that what they needed was self-care okay. And they needed to matter to themselves. And in the case of the restaurants, what that person needed was exploration and a liveliness. Those were the needs they wanted to have met. So what we did was we found freeways for, for them to get those needs met. Okay. So in the, in for the needing the massage, right, we made a list of all the other ways that that person could provide self-care to themselves that were completely free and often had the added bonus of connecting with other people in their community.
Speaker 2: (12:15)
And when they went and, and did that self care for themselves, it felt to them so much more bigger, so much more expansive than the self care that they were getting through the transaction. And I’m not saying like, don’t get yourself a massage people. I get them all the time. I love them. But what I want to say is that all those things you do for yourself, that you use money to pay for them, you can get them for free. Once you figure out the need that you’re trying to have met, you can get that need met for free and often getting it for free is going to feel so freeing. It’s going to feel so good. And so in the case of the restaurants that the person’s need was they wanted to have exploration and they wanted to feel alive and going to restaurants, made them feel alive.
Speaker 2: (13:00)
So what we ended up doing for that person is we found other things, right. That made them feel alive. That gave them exploration. Okay. So for them, they ended up doing a lot more hiking and picnicking with friends, which was like perfect during COVID. And so they got to be in different sceneries, outside in nature. They got to like being in nature, actually made them feel more alive than being in a restaurant. And because they were a friend, they got to try out different types of food and also have that community and connection and ended up being way better than going to restaurants for this person and also to boot healthier. So, um, the practice this week is to notice, um, how we’re, how you’re spending your money to get your needs met and what those needs are. Okay. Is it a need for self care?
Speaker 2: (13:54)
Is it a need for creativity, a need for choice, a need for space, right. And how can you just look at that need and ask yourself, how can I meet that need without spending any money? And once you realize that you can meet that need without spending money, you’re going to feel so free. So expansive. You’re going to realize that you don’t need money as much as you think you do. And you’re going to start to take off the shackles. So to speak that you’ve put on yourself that you think you need to have all this money in order to be happy. Cause we already know that money can’t buy happiness, right? The best things in life, the true wealth in life, right. Really have nothing to do with money. They have to do with love community connection, caring for each other, self growth rate, self knowledge and meaning in your life. So enjoy this wonderful practice around money this week. I’m so glad you’re here. You came today and uh, join me next week. Have a great week. Bye. Thank you for joining. I hope you come back next week. Join my mailing list to get notified at my podcast. Follow me on Instagram at, @katweissner and check out my website about tons of free stuff on there, at www.klwcoaching.com